My Dull Life

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Gus wanted me to fill out a postcard for Amnesty International last year so I picked Abimael Guzman in Peru because they put him in an underground concrete cell and that's after making him wear a black hood the whole time he was on trail.

He's in solitary confinement and he's sentenced for life.

But I just read that he got engaged to be married. And Peruvian law allows for six conjugal visits a year.

Fontaine said I should have written the postcard for myself..

Monday, April 30, 2007

Oh boy. I sucked in really hard through my nose because it's stuffed up but it didn't get unclogged and now I'm kind of dizzy.

I first tried blowing through my nose but air came out my tear ducts.

I'll be glad when allergy season is over.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

I saw Mrs. Martin at Safeway. She's the neighbor who was organizing a group of us to make up little packages of cookies and stuff to send to our boys in Iraq.

If you didn't want to bake cookies, you could use store bought.

Inside the package you wrote a note saying thank you for all you're doing for freedom and how proud you are and that you support them.

She didn't say hi so I guess she didn't see me.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Fontaine opened my refrigerator and he said something doesn't look right

I'm used to it by now.

The refrigerator bulb burned out and I replaced it with something I had on hand which was part of a Christmas decoration that broke and I had to throw out.

It fit in the socket and it's green.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Mrs. Ferguson came into the lobby about 2 AM. She offered me a tunafish sandwich and it just so happened I was kind of hungry.

She had one for herself and we ate together.

She said that she made it with celery.

She said she didn't know if I knew it or not but celery can get kind of stringy.

It's not hair, she said.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Gus got another call from Debbie.

He asked about the knave and she said things were fine. They just fight a lot.

So Gus asked her if he heard her right. Was she thinking about him and missing him that night she was in the bathroom? Gus couldn't help wanting to hear it again.

She said yes. And Gus asked why.

And she said the toilet seat was up.

"Gus, with you, I only had to tell you twice."

Monday, April 23, 2007

Gus asked me why I thought Debbie was thinking about him when she was in the bathroom. I said I didn't know.

Gus said he sometimes remembers what it looked like, their two toothbrushes side by side. I said that could be it.

Fontaine threw out a question, the same thing I was thinking, but it turned out to be too personal.

So the answer was probably no.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Gus got a call from Debbie.

She married the Second Knave from the Renaissance Faire but she still calls Gus every now and then. Sometimes it makes him feel happy.

Like last night.

She got in a long fight with the knave so she locked herself in the bathroom. And when she was there, she called Gus, because she started thinking about him and missing him. But then she had to hang up.

Friday, April 13, 2007

I had a dream last night that I was on a date with Isabella Rosalini.

We were talking about books and I asked her who was her favorite arthur. She said, "author." But she kept smiling and looking into my eyes. Like she saw something.

Just then her old boyfriend burst in and wanted to fight me. So we fought.

I was expecting Isabella to curse him and then bend down to attend to my wounds because up to this point it was a pretty good dream. But she disappeared.

And then a priest came in and saw me on the floor and started chanting tomato varieties.

Early Girl, Ace, Beefsteak.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Maureen dropped by the hotel during my shift today.

Either her face cleared up or she put something on it.

But it didn't matter.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Gilbert took over the shift a little early so I was talking to him about Maureen and stuff and wondering aloud if the ball was now in my court and maybe I should consider making the next move. But when I referred to her as the boss's daughter, he said that she wasn't, and he laughed. And it wasn't a nice laugh.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

I think I'm going to throw out The Microwave Cookbook. I've had it since 1985 and I've never used it. Still, there's something hard about throwing away a book.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

I don't know what I'm going to do about Maureen. She's young and pretty but she's the boss's daughter. And one of these days her face is going to clear up

Monday, March 5, 2007

I wonder what happened to turn signals you were supposed to do with your arm. When I took the written exam, the booklet said to point your left arm out straight for a left turn and for a right turn, you bend your elbow and point up.

The booklet said to do this during daylight hours but you didn't have to if it was raining.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Maureen dropped by the hotel again today and even though she smiled at me from way across the lobby it was like some kid was playing around with a mirror and shined a bright light into my eyes.

She started walking toward me while she was talking in her friendly way and I felt embarrassed and afraid I was looking embarrassed so I put my head down and looked at the flower design in the carpet until she got closer. Close enough so I could see that little thing of hers.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

I asked Fontaine why he spent the night away from his house and he said it was nothing. Just an argument. He said they don't argue as much as the used to. Growing old has it's advantages. His desire is fading just about as fast as her looks. Then he asked me if I ever looked at the water go round and round when I flushed the toilet. It goes round and round and down and then it's gone. He said marriage is like that. All the life goes out of it and it turns to nothing but there's no real reason to pack up and leave. There's no place to go. Or you're too old. Or both.

I guess that explains everything except the little green pillow.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Maureen sometimes talks to me when she doesn't have to. It could be my imagination but it keeps happening.

You're supposed to look at somebody when he talks to you. Or she talks to you. So I do. And today it was a lot easier because she had a cold sore and that's what I looked at when she talked.

And sometimes I looked right in her eyes because I knew the cold sore was close by. Just down a little bit and to the right.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

My backyard neighbors are Mexicans and they've had their laundry on the clothesline for a long time now because it won't stop raining. Gus says it's global warming.

Fontaine says if the North Pole melts then a lot of Eskimos will be out of work and they'll migrate down here and take our jobs.

I pictured an Eskimo taking over my job at the hotel.

Gus called Fontaine a name.

So I said that sometimes things might look bad but then it turns out to be good. You never know. But they wanted an example.

So I said the Mexican's laundry. Maybe now with all the rain, their clothes are cleaner than they've ever been before.

No good. Lame. Stupid.

So I told them about watching TV last night.

One of the rabbit ears broke off and now I get channel 8.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Fontaine wanted a free room but I said I couldn't do that. I wasn't working last night anyways.

So he came over to my place with a little green pillow and he just didn't leave. It was time he taught his wife a lesson.

So we sat on the couch and watched a rerun of Law and Order. The policewoman looked like a model and her badge was pinned at her waist. After that there a was movie with James Mason when he was a lot younger. I could barely hear his accent and then I fell asleep.

Later, Fontaine's laughter woke me up which is really an awful thing to wake up to, or even hear when you're awake.

The pillow was on his lap and he was looking straight at the TV and on the TV was a chimpanzee smoking a cigarrette.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

We saw this homeless guy walking down the street talking in a loud and angry voice to somebody who wasn't there.

Somebody from his past.

Friday, January 12, 2007

It was Gus's birthday yesterday and he said birthdays are like funerals. He said you can figure out how many people will go to your funeral by how many birthday cards you get. And if you want to know what they'll say at your funeral, just read one of the cards.

I forgot to give him a card. Maybe I'll get him one of those belated ones.

Wednesday, January 9, 2007

I asked Gus about his Cherry Blossom women and he said he got some responses to his letters, he sent out 100, and he showed me some of their photographs. They looked young and pretty even though the photographs were a little blurry.

Most of them asked if he could send a photo of his house. Nobody asked for a picture of him.

He said he wasn't sure if he was going to write back. He liked the fact they all looked thin but they sounded, well, kind of hungry.