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    January through April, 2004       

My Dull Life

Sunday, December 31, 2006

I don't know why, but I'm feeling OK.

I was even singing in the car the other day. And when I stopped at a light, I kept on singing, though it was through my teeth.

It's cold and gray outside this morning but my kitchen is warm. I put a piece of cardboard where there's a hole in the window. It works great.

I've been cleaning. My fingers smell like Comet.

I found a can of Carnation Evaporated Milk in the cupboard and put some in my coffee.

Some people plan their meals. They make a list, go to the store, buy the food and fix it. But it's hard for me to buy food when I'm not hungry.

What I do is buy canned food when I'm at the store, forget about it, and then I find it.

Sometimes I buy cans of stuff I don't like. If I like it, I'll just eat it right away and then it will be gone. Like Bean Soup. So I buy stuff like Celery and Cheese Soup. And that way, I always have food in the house.

I remember one cold and rainy night I stared down a can of oysters.

Hunger made me brave, I opened it, and it turned out really good.

So, anyway, though it really doesn't taste very good, there's something about canned milk I like. And this morning, I had some.

Monday, December 25, 2006

On Christmas morning, believe it or not, every single station used to play nothing but Christmas music. If you got a radio for Christmas and you wanted to hear how other music sounded, you had to wait a day.

This morning, there are a lot of stations playing James Brown. He died, of course, so I guess it's OK.

A news reporter said that Sex Machine was a big hit of his. The reporter went on to say that the song was blatantly sexual.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Annie called again.

It was a long, rambling monologue and her cell phone was dying so she called me back several times. She didn't ask, Where was I?, when she started up again because it didn't matter.

I felt bad I didn't feel about her the way I used to. Bad, but also not bad.

Before either of us could say Merry Christmas, her phone died for the last time.

I checked the front door and turned off all the lights in the house and went to the back bedroom.

The only light in the house is coming from my laptop which is on my stomac right now.

And everything is quiet.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The house feels emptier without my dog, especially at night.

Last night I called The Switchboard.

But I got the number for when you need help with your turkey.

The woman gave me a scolding. Which was exactly what I didn't want.

It was like the suana where you jump into a pool of ice cold water.

Except I fell in by mistake.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Ted came by today but I've got this system. When I hear a knock, I get on my knees and look through the keyhole of the hallway door. This way I can pretend I'm not home. The hallway door has to be closed for this to work and this morning it was.

He left a present on my porch that was expertly wrapped.

I didn't wrap any presents this year but when I do, I wrap them just a little bit  sloppy so nobody gets the wrong idea.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Dale said I might have to work on Christmas Eve.

I have senority but I don't have a family.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Annie called. It's been so long that I didn't recogize her voice. She said to meet her at the park.

Her hair was different. She looked thin. I hope she's not using again.

She was delivering baskets of cookies that she baked for Christmas. She said she does this every year.

I didn't know.

She said she had a basket left over and thought I might want it.

I saw that there were some of Rice Krispee Treats so I took it but I left before she could ask me for money.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I woke up this morning and I didn't feel very good.

Maybe I have the winter blues.

So I took the lampshade off my lamp and stared into the 100 watt bulb.

I remember a movie where they said, "Come into the light, come into the light."

But I don't remember if that was a bad thing or a good thing.

So, I stopped.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Gus came by again last night and this time we watched TV. There was a rerun of Law and Order. After the news came Leno and after that, he still didn't go home.

We talked on and off about his plan to get a mail order bride.

I asked him what would happen if he marries her but then finds out he really doesn't love her.

He thought about that for a while and then he asked me if I remember that scene from Deliverance where that guy says to that guy to squeal like a pig.

I said yes.

And Gus said when he thinks about real love, he remembers that scene, because that's as real as love gets.

Gus smiled. Then he said good night and then he got up and left.

And I was thinking he might be right.

I could never figure out why that guy wanted him to squeal like a pig.

Monday, December 11, 2006

I got a Christmas card from Ted. He's the psychologist I used to know.

He said that in 2007 that he hopes that we can be friends. That being friends was good enough for him.

He said he tried my number and that it was disconnected and he asked me for my new number.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Gus came by after dinner with a thermos of egg nog and we got to talking.

He sent out 25 letters but he didn't include his photograph. He didn't want his looks to be a selling point.

He gave me a copy of his letter and wanted to know how I would respond.

I tried to imagine I was a young, Filipino woman and that I didn't know Gus.

His letter was pretty bad but I didn't say anything. So I thought about how poor I was and how I didn't want to be poor any more. I was thinking hunger and ring worm and no modern conveniences. But I still thought the letter was dumb.

Gus prodded me. He wanted an answer.

So I looked up and said, "Me no speak English."

Saturday, December 9, 2006

Fontaine and Gus came over and Gus was carrying a copy of Cherry Blossom Magazine. That's a catalog of Filipino women who want to marry American men.

What you do is pay for the mailing address of any woman you want to write to.  And then if she writes back, you can write her again and see what develops.

One address costs $5.00. Ten addresses cost $10.00. A hundred addresses cost $25.00.

Fontaine thinks it's a great idea. He said American women don't know how to treat American men. As for a Filipino woman, the only thing she wants to do in life is please her man. It's her reason for living.

Gus showed me the picture of a woman he's going to write to. She's in her 20's and she's looking for a mature man. Browsing through the ads, it looks like Gus is in luck. Mature is a plus for all of them.

Friday, December 8, 2006

There was a guy at the Farmer's Market selling bread and he seemed angry.

He didn't look like a baker. He looked like he worked in a tire repair shop.

All of the bread was wrapped in plastic just like in a regular store and nobody was coming up to his table.

He called out "Fresh bread!" like there was something wrong with us for not buying any.

So I went up to the table and I bought a loaf.

And after I bought the loaf, he was still angry.

And when I got home, I tried the bread, and it wasn't very good.

A lot of times, things aren't what they seem. But this time, it was even worse.

Thursday, December 7, 2006 -- Pearl Harbor Day

Fontaine came over and he was looking down. I asked him why and he showed me his hand.

"How would you feel with something like this?"

He opened up his hand and his palm looked like it had been slashed with a steak knife.

I asked him shouldn't he put something on it.

And he said that everything he puts on it hurts.

I told him that it was too bad. That it was a heck of a way to end 2006.

But nothing I said made him feel better.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

The sun was out. Not a cloud in the sky. But it was still cold.

Mr. Frankfurter heard that I didn't have any heat so he came by to ask if there was anything he could do.

I told him there was something in the basement. And he said, "Let's take a look."

I showed him where the door was and he pulled out a flashlight from his back pocket.

He tapped the flashlight on the door and said, "Are you still in there?"

There was a long silence. I asked him if he heard anything and he said yes, he did.

Then Mr. Frankfurter said, "It's time for you to be gone. We've come to light the furnace. Be gone!"

Then Mr. Frankfurter turned to me and smiled and he said, "It's OK now."

And it was.

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

I heard noises in the night.

And later, I had a bad dream.

I don't remember what it was about. None of my dreams make a lot of sense.

Monday, December 4, 2006

I went to the basement door and knocked on it but I didn't hear anything. I called out, Are you still in there?

Whatever it was, it didn't answer.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

I called PG&E to see if they'd light my furnance. They said they would but for a charge. I said OK.

But when the guy got here I confessed there might be something in the basement.

He said he could only do his job if he had unobstructed access. He was nice about it. But he didn't want to come across a rabid possum.

And he left.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

It's cold. I don't have any heat.

I can't light my furnace because there's a monster in the basement.

Friday, December 1, 2006

Fontaine thinks it's a dog. Gus thinks it's a racoon in heat. I was thinking it was more like something like a wolf.

They both came over but they didn't hear anything. No scratching, no growling. But neither of them wanted to open the door.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

I had a scare.

I went down into the basement to light the furnace and I heard a noise. Kind of like a mean growl.

I got out of there quick and locked the door.

I heard it growl some more and then it started scratching the door.

Shoot, I don't know what it is.

How am I going to light the furnace?

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

My head. My eyes. What's next?

I told Gus and Fontaine about the motel clerk and Fontaine said it was just a pick up line.

Then I told them about the Rosecrucian and Fontaine said it was just a pick up line.

But why?

Gus said I had "latent" written all over me.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Gus gave me a free pass to the Rosecrucian Museum and he said go, I might learn something.

One of the things I learned was that they made mummies of their cats and they had a couple of real live ones there. I mean, dead ones, of course, but real ones.

Around back I found a little garden behind some papayrus plants. I went inside and sat on a bench. There was a candle on the ground in front of a plaque.

After a few minutes a man wearing a blazer came in and asked me if I was a member of the order.

I wasn't sure I understood the question.

But he said of course, he could see it in my eyes.

He gave me a big smile and talked about how he could always tell by the eyes.

But I shook his hand wrong.

Another thing I learned today is that a free pass does not get you into sacred places.

And still another thing I learned is that if you make a Rosecrucian mad, it's even worse because they're a little creepy to begin with, and that's a bad combination, anger and creepiness.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Gus and his Rosecrucian pamplets. Sometimes he won't let you look over his shoulder when he's reading like it's a big secret. I asked him about that and he said that some people aren't ready for the answers to certain important questions. I asked him, like what?

He said I wasn't ready for that either.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I guess Mr. Frankfurter went to church. I'm still in bed.

Around this time when it starts to get cold, my dog used to sleep in my bedroom.

One time, I remember, I pulled the covers over my head and propped them up with a broken yardstick.

I poked my head out and said, "Let's play tent."

He gave me a look that said, "You play tent."

So I did.

And he fell asleep next to the space heater.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Debbie left.

She thought Gus knew she followed the circuit.

He didn't

So she's in Tucson now and Gus is back reading his Rosecrucian pamphlets.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Fontaine just called. He wanted to know if my cable is out. It is. He said a bad word and hung up.

OK. Last night. I had Armour Canned Meat,  boiled carrots, mashed potatoes, a Mexican bread roll, tomato soup, meatless chili, a mix of sea shell and elbow macaroni with a lentil soup gravy, egg nog (without vanilla, I didn't have any), green tea, canned pears and a cut up apple.

I made too much food on purpose. There's something nice about left overs.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

It's Thanksgiving.                

I got up early and waited for 10 AM because that's the earliest that Motel 8 will let you check in. I left a note on the kitchen table and got there around 10:15 and rang the bell.

The motel clerk was a dark skinned immigrant with black, black hair and a mustache. I think he was from some place like Afganistan.

He was nice. I remember talking to him on the phone when I made the reservation. He took my VISA card and then my driver's license and I signed a computer print out. But the whole time he was nervous, not me.

He started sentences that he didn't finish and then he looked away. And then back at me again.

He asked some real simple questions like "Who are you?" and I gave him simple answers, like my name.

Then he explained. He could see a light that glowed around my head and he'd never seen anything like it. He knew I was a very good man.

I said thank you and took the key and went up to room 208 and stretched out on top of the bedspread of one of the two king size beds.

I closed my eyes and wondered about my hair.  If some whispy strands had been sticking out and catching the morning light from the glass door behind me.  I don't often comb it.

I slept for an hour. Then I got up and left and went back to my house and found my kitchen surprizingly neat and clean.

I tossed the note and I set the table for dinner. Fork, spoon, knife, napkin.

I still don't know what I'm going to fix.

I'll tell you tomorrow. 


Wednesday, November 22, 2006

He always wanted to run away. His dream never came true.

But in a way, I guess it did.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I've been cleaning house now for several days. Putting things together. Putting things away. Throwing some things away. Getting ready for Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 20, 2006

My dog and I weren't close. There's an empty feeling that I don't feel worse than I do.

I put the dog dish in the recycling bin and put the remainder of dry dog food in the compost pile. And I covered it with all the leaves in the backyard.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

I used to have a job picking up dead animals but they were practically  frozen. And they were inside thick plastic bags. And I didn't know them.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

It was sad but he got stiff and then it didn't seem like it was him anymore. Just a stiff thing.

Friday, November 17, 2006

I buried my dog in the backyard.

The ground was cold and it was hard.

Somehow that made me feel less sad.

Because digging the hole was a pain.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I used to give my dog the parts of the turkey I never ate.

I boiled them and put them in his dish. In a day or two they'd be gone.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

My dog died.

I don't understand it. He was the exact same age as me in dog years.

I feel like telling somebody but I don't want it to get back to Fontaine.

This is not a good time.

But maybe it is. If it had to happen.

I'm going away on Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Debbie's birthday is tomorrow. Gus asked her what she wants and she said one of those clear plastic toilet seats that have real money inside of them.

Gus asked her why and she said because that's what she thinks about money.

I asked him if he's going to get it for her and he said no.

It's way too expensive.

Monday, November 13, 2006

I got my flu shot today and I think it reacted with my medication. Plus the fact I had something to drink. 

Maybe that's why I called Annie and asked her what I did.

She said I'd be lucky if she ever talked to me again, ever.

I took that as a no.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

I got up to go to the bathroom and I looked in the mirror and I didn't recognize myself.

Sounds like it would be funny but it wasn't.

Maybe that's a side effect. Or maybe the ones he gave me aren't strong enough.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Richard Luna transfered to my class during the 6th grade. He had acne and he was always smiling and his black hair was shiney because he put stuff on it.

His pants were slacks, the kind you wear to church. He wore a big belt buckle and his shirt was unbuttoned halfway down.

His older brother told him if anybody ever called him "Richard Lunatic" he'd beat him up.

I asked him what a lunatic was and he cringed. And he said I better watch it.

Friday, November 10, 2006

I saw the doctor and he gave me some pills.

We didn't talk much.

I guess what I have is common.

Thursday, November 9, 2006

I woke up last night at 3:25 AM.

And I had a strange feeling. The house was quiet. Everything was dark. And there I was.

I went to the kitchen and ate some potato chips.

I wasn't hungry.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

I met Debbie.

She was bubbly.

She talked like Shakespeare and it made Gus laugh.

I didn't understand what she was saying and that made Gus laugh, too.

I'm glad that Gus is no longer depressed.

Sort of.

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

Gus came over again. He just sat at the kitchen table and said love was good. But being older, now, it was different.

For example, he lasts longer. Which is good. His wife used to complain. But sometimes he feels a nose hair sticking out when he kisses her and it tickles and it's annoying. And it makes him feel old.

She hasn't said anything about it. Maybe she doesn't feel it. Or maybe she's just too nice to say anything. Unlike his wife.

Then he asked if he could see my pliers

Monday, November 6, 2006

Gus came over, had some coffee, and helped himself to some toast with butter.

And he told me more about Debbie.

He's upset that Fontaine called her fat. He asked me if I thought she was fat. I got up to put more bread in the toaster.

Gus said the strange thing was, he fell in love with her when she had the costume on, and after that, it didn't matter.

I asked her what her last name was. He said Roach. Debbie Roach.

And then the toast was ready.

Sunday, November 5, 2006

Fontaine called up and asked me if I saw her and then he started laughing again. Making those noises.

I waited until he calmed down but he didn't.

Love is hard, I guess. And maybe love is supposed to be blind sometimes. I don't have the answers.

I didn't even know I was a leg man.

Saturday, November 4, 2006

Gus came over again. This time he had a photograph.

Yes, they’re quite large. But she’s large all over.

I looked at him to see if it was a joke.

It wasn’t. He was smiling. And waiting for me to say something.

So I said, “Nice.”

And then I said, “Very nice.”

Friday, November 3, 2006

Gus came over. He’s very happy which is really good.

He moved his hands in that way again and said what her size was according to conservative estimates.

But I didn't look impressed enough.

So he said I must be a leg man.

Thursday, November 2, 2006

Fontaine called me up and he was laughing.

Some people have the kind of laugh where you start laughing along with them even though you don't know what you're both laughing about. But Fontaine didn't have that kind of laugh.

He laughs like he's choking while he's trying to sing.

He laughs like a cornered animal but instead of snarling or hissing, he has a mental breakdown.

You don't laugh along with Fontaine. You think up ways you'd describe it and then you wait until he's done.

Wednesday, November 1, 2006

The news of the day is that Gus finally now has a girlfriend and he's very happy.

Her name is Debbie and she works at The Renaissance Faire in an unpaid position as a saucy wench.

And the best part about her is something he described with his hands.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The thousand injuries of Fontaine I had borne the best I could, but when he ventured upon insult I thought, OK, I wish he wouldn’t do that.

A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes the redresser. But with my luck, that’s exactly what would happen.

My coat of arms has a motto which I thought meant “I’m a snake that bites with impunity,” but I looked it up and it turns out to be Latin for, “At length, I’ll get over it.”

Saturday, October 21, 2006

I remember in high school that Gus got all mad about those bumper stickers that said, "America--Love it or leave it!"

So he used his savings and had some bumper stickers printed up that said, "America--Love it or change it!"

He didn't sell enough to break even.

And then came along the one that said, "When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns."

That made me him even more mad.

It was too true.

Friday, October 20, 2006

When Jesus transfered into my 3rd grade class we didn't know if he could speak English.

But with a name like that, I wouldn't say a word, either.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Gus was drinking coffee from a Pyrex measuring cup.

He was telling me about his friend Eric. Eric went to Hawaii and he hated it. When he got back, that’s all he said about it. How much he didn’t like it. Everything had gone wrong and there wasn’t a single thing he liked about it. And he spent a lot of money on his trip, too.

But two years have passed and now he talks about Hawaii like it was all good.

Gus said that’s why he’s depressed. And why he thinks he'll always be depressed.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Ken was a transfer student from Idaho. The teacher appointed me his "Welcome Buddy" so I showed him where the bathrooms were during lunch.

This was in the fifth grade. My state report was on Idaho so I asked him about potatoes.

He didn't answer.

And we didn't become friends.

Monday, October 16, 2006

I was over at Gus’s house.

There was toilet paper on the floor all shredded up.

His dog had gotten into the wastepaper basket and that’s what he went for.

Gus didn’t want me to see it.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Ralph transfered to my class in the 4th grade. He had big, floppy lips like Captain Bly and he looked like a gypsy.

When I asked him what he got for Christmas, he said clothes.

Just clothes. And it made me feel really sad.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Gus told me about a couple of old movies he saw last night.

Marty and Scarlet Street.

Joan Bennet laughs at Edward G. Robinson and says he has a face like a frog.

That must have hurt.

But then he kills her.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

It was "Pirate Night" at Britania Arms. You get in free if you talk like a pirate.

I couldn't do it.

Friday, August 18, 2006

I got a call from the AP, a Mr. Wilsey from The New Yorker and an assitant producer from Nightline. They all want to know more about that creepy guy.

All I said was that he stayed here for a few weeks and he got some mail. Brochures from Pattaya and postcards from his dad. One time I gave him a postcard, he read it, and he tore it up. He didn't say why.

I don't think they're going to put me on Nightline.

It'd be cool, though.

Fontaine thinks I'm making the whole thing up.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I saw that guy on TV, John Mark Karr, and I know him. He used to stay in the hotel. So now I've been watching a lot of TV just to see him because I know him.

I watch the same clips over and over. He used to walk around the hotel lobby. Same face, same voice, but now he's on TV.

It's weird. He's weird.

But he didn't do it.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

You know how you can get a tune in your head and it just keeps playing over and over and it drives you crazy because you can't get it out of your head?

Well, I don't have that problem, but Fontaine does, and now he's blaming me for Dem Golden Slippers.

It's kind of funny.

I mean, it serves him right.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Fontaine called again. All I need to do is go to Walgreens and buy some hydrogen peroxide, fingernail polish remover and a driveway stain remover that has acetone. And some coffee filters.

Fontaine said he'd give me the money but then I asked why I'd want to make a bomb and he said it would be cool.

And then I didn't say anything.

And then he said we'd just make a little one.

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

I put me cell phone on silent so when Annie doesn't call, like she never does, I won't hear that she doesn't.

I found a magic store online and I ordered a set of "Cups and Balls."

My Dad used to have a set he kept in a red pouch. They were copper cups. Not the cheap ones.

That's how my mom met my dad. But that's all I know about the story.

I also ordered a magic wand that goes limp.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Fontaine called me. He's all excited that he found out how to make a liquid bomb from the internet.

He said it's really simple. Even I could do it.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Apes have a language that they taught to Tarzan when he was a child.

They have a dictionary in the back of the unabridged edition prepared especially for young readers.

I used to try to learn one word a day.

Tantor means elephant.

Friday, March 31, 2006

I was in the shower this morning and it happened again. I couldn't remember which faucet was cold and which one was hot.

Usually, I don't even think about it.

But now I do and I get it wrong half the time.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Mr. Frankfurter didn't go to church this morning.

I don't know if he ever goes, but really nice people usually do, don't they?

I saw him just sitting on his steps.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

I did a computer search on duct tape and I found a blog by a young woman named Dervala. She seemed to be a lot like me except she's really smart and interesting. And I have a feeling she might be tall.

I wrote her an email. And guess what? After a couple of days she wrote me back. 11 words, but 12 if you include her name.

Maybe I'm not so dull after all.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

My neighbor, the woman who yells at me sometimes, starting yelling at Mr. Frankfurter for feeding stray cats.

I better give her a name in case I mention her again. How about Mrs. Stein?

OK, Mrs. Stein was yelling at him but he stayed calm. He explained that he only feeds stray cats that he first traps and then spades or neuters. He does it at his own expense.

He said all this with a kindly smile.

And then she didn't say anything.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I guess the normal thing would have been to take them down to Goodwill. Put them in bag, toss them in a bin.

But it's done now and I don't have to think about it.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Fontaine called. His cat has been sneezing. He asked me what I thought it was. A cold? No. And then he called me a dope. That's more like it. Fontaine almost never calls.

Gus thought it could be distemper. Fontaine doesn't want to spend a hundred bucks on a vet. I said it would be more than a hundred bucks. I used to work for some clinics. He said I was just a driver.

If she doesn't stop sneezing he's going to take her up to the foothills.

I asked him about that. He said he has a thing about death.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.

I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day.

You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But now you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

Gosh, it's everywhere.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

I empty the wastepaper baskets at night and sometimes I find some interesting things.
I found the first and probably only draft of a novel. All of the characters were cards in a deck. They didn't have any free will. They were just dealt and played. There was no dialogue, just a record of what the hands were, who was drawn, the wagers, how much was won. It didn't make a lot of sense which is too bad because it went on for pages and pages.

And last night I found a resume for Felice Goldman. She was an extra in Patch Adams. I saw that movie. I bet I saw her. She was a med student.

I looked in the register and we didn't have a Felice Goldman. Too bad. Maybe she always checks in under a false name.

Friday, February 17, 2006

I went to the north end of St. James Park and while nobody was looking I hung Blane's underwear on the backs of a couple of benches.

His briefs were all the same size and all the same shade of off-white. I spread them out end to end.

I went back to my car and looked at the benches from the street. It looked nice. I'm glad I took my time. I'm sure they'll be gone by morning.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Blane's underwear wasn't taking up a lot of space but it's not the kind of thing I want around here to remind me of him.

They looked perfectly good. Cleaned and pressed.

I saw some homeless people under the overpass and I approached them but they were in line to get free needles and condoms from a county van. I didn't know they had the program.

One guy asked me if I was an addict. I said no. He said this line was only for addicts.

I left before somebody asked me what I wanted.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

You know how sometimes you just have one of those feelings?

Well, I felt my cell phone vibrate, and I knew it was Annie calling me. Even though I haven't seen or heard from her in a long time.

So I reached into my pocket but my cell phone wasn't there. I looked around and I saw it
was on my desk.

And it wasn't on vibrate.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I signed the notice so they just left the package on my porch.

It was from Blane's estate. Briefs. Off white but in good condition.

I don't wear briefs.

But even if I did, I've got to give these away or something.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Monday, February 13, 2006

I got a package from UPS but I wasnt' here so they will attempt delivery tomorrow. Golly, I didn't order anything. I wonder what it could be?

Sunday, February 12, 2006

I sat and talked with my new neighbor this afternoon. Mr. Frankfurter.

We talked for a long time.

He was nice. Everything I told him about myself he seemed interested in. I'd say something about myself and he'd then ask a question about it.

I don't think we talked about him at all.
He just said that people call him Frank so that's what I'm going to do.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Mr. Henson is an old man who comes downstairs and talks to me sometimes, usually pretty late. He paces around a lot and then he comes over to the desk.

He was a med student at Stanford. That's when he fell in love with Mary. He showed me a picture from his wallet but it was hard to see because it looked like it had been torn and then taped with tape that turns yellow.

She married somebody else and he got so upset that he dropped out of school and never became a doctor or anything. He blames her. And he blames her for the fact that he's here, living in this hotel, with nobody else to talk to except me.

How could she do that to him?

The question lingers in the hotel lobby after everybody has gone to sleep. And just before I have to do the sheets.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

I was curious about the Luxury Suite but my passkey doesn't open it.

So I took the room key and went upstairs to take a look.

It turns out it's just a room with a really big bed.

It takes up the whole room.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

At night, in the hotel, it gets really quiet after 3 am.

Sometimes there's very little to do but think. And I don't always have something to think about.

Last night I pulled out the sheets from the dryer and put them to my face and held them there.

Friday, January 27, 2006

My night clerk shift is from 10 pm to 6 am.

One thing I do is wash the sheets.

I put them in and take them out and fold them.

The Luxury Suite has a custom made super king size bed. I can tell because the sheets are so big.

It costs double and we only mention it when somebody asks for the best room we've got.

But they don't know I have to lay the sheets out on the lobby floor in order to fold them.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Fontaine talked about the hard drive he bought and all of the music he's downloading. He says it's not illegal because he'll never have time to listen to it all.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Gus and I and Fontaine hopped on over to IHOP. I invited them. I said I just came into some money which is a lie but a white one.

Both of them got on my case because I couldn't decide one what to order.

And Moses, the waiter, was unfriendlier than usual.

Gus was explaining that if you catch the devil by his toe he won't holler because he has a cloven foot and he can't feel it.  Whereas a tiger will just rip you to shreds.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

There's a guy who walks down the street and barks like a dog. He's from one of the board and care homes in the neighborhood.

I always say hello. He always barks.

But today he said hi. And then he asked me what home I'm from. I said I live in this house.

He smiled. And he looked at me like he was wondering what you call that.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

I have a new neighbor. His name is Mr. Frankfurter. I hope my dog doesn't eat him. Hahahahhahahahahaha!


But his name really is Mr. Frankfurter.

He's a retired Kindergarten teacher.

I don't think he's going to be a problem.

Monday, January 2, 2006

Gus just got back from a cruise. It was for singles but most of the passengers had oxygen tanks.

The onboard entertainment was performed by the same group of singers and dancers every night, People Are Special.

They were in their 20's and they smiled all the time.

One of the passengers died and they had to airlift him out. That turned out to be the most exciting part of the trip.

Everybody was on deck to see the heliocopter land. And all the entertainers waved when it took off.

Sunday, January 1, 2006

I didn't do much on New Year's Eve. I rented Grizzly Man.

He gave names to all the bears. There was Bubbles and Mr. Chocolate.

And one of them ate him.

Some Archives:      

Chapter 13    Jan. through Dec. 2006
Chapter 12   Jan. through Dec. 2005
Chapter 11    Nov. through Dec, 2004
Chapter 10 
      Aug. through Oct., 2004
Chapter 9       April through July, 2004
Chapter 8      Jan. through April, 2004
Chapter 7       Sept. through Dec., 2003
Chapter 6        Aug. through Sept., 2003
Chapter 5       March through July, 2003
Chapter 4       Nov. through Dec., 2002
Chapter 3    October, 2002
Chapter 2       Aug. through Sept., 2002
Chapter 1       June through Aug., 2002

Ron's beautiful life
Sarah's cluttered life
Chloie's free life

My email address is robert at MyDullLife. And you add a dot com. But you use a real dot.

I don't get a lot of email.