My Dull Life

Thursday, December 29, 2005

I almost forgot.

When I was in the hospital I wasn't posting so I got some email asking if I was OK.

So I want to say thank you to those two people who wrote.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Christmas came and went. I must be losing track of time. I looked in the cat box and there were a lot of deposits.

And New Year's is coming.

Dick Clark still looks better than me.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I don't know what I'll say if Annie comes by and asks for the cup. I always kept it clean and ready for her.

What if she thinks I'm bitter and I got rid of everything that reminds me of her? Or that I got rid of it to get back at her? I'd have some explaining to do. And knowing her, she'd frown on the truth.

I wish I had that cup back.

Annie's been gone a long time. And now the cup is gone.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Just in case it was important, I took a sample with me.

All I had clean was my World's Best Dad cup.

And I put that in a zip lock bag.

Yep, it was important. There was blood.

No wonder I was so tired.

I didn't know how serious it was until they asked me if I wanted to talk with a minister of my faith.

I was flat on my back in a curtained off room with a plastic band on my wrist. There wasn't much to do. So I thought, yeah, it would be nice to talk to somebody.

But I didn't say yes, I said why? And that wasn't a yes, so they moved on to the next question on the list.

I didn't like the hospital. I had to stay there for 10 days.

And when I checked out, they didn't give me my cup back.

In fact, the nurse thought it was a strange request.

Saturday, December 3, 2005

I went to the bathroom and it didn't look right.

So I called the advice nurse said she said to come right over and she wanted to know if I wanted an ambulance. I said no.

I think an ambulance would be neat but I feel fine.

I could fake it but what if they amputated something? No, it's best not to lie about your health.

But my car is in the shop so Gus is on the way over to take me in.

He has to run a few errands first but then he'll be right over.

So I'm waiting for him right now.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

It's cold this morning. It's gray outside, even the leaves. It's too early to be up considering how cold it is but I had a dream about Annie and I don't feel like staying in bed.

The last time I saw her, I should have said something. Something that a character in a book would say.

I don't remember what I said. So she probably doesn't remember either.

There's a coupon for KFC in the paper. When I go there, sometimes I can't understand what they say. They're not foreigners, they're just people who mumble because they don't like their jobs and they've been there too long and no place else will hire them. Sometimes they have a lost look. There they are, serving fried chicken on Thanksgiving.

So I might go there. May as well. Today is not a good day.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

It's getting cold. So I took another shower just to warm myself up. I haven't turned on the heater yet this year.

I'll have to clean it out first and since it's a floor heater, there's a lot of dog hair and dust down there.

Last year I had to run the heater full blast all weekend with all the doors and windows open because it made the air so bad you couldn't breath it.

And with all the doors and windows open I couldn't leave the house so I just sat around with a blanket over me and did nothing. Just wasted gas.

Monday, November 21, 2005

I quit my vet job. I don't want to do that anymore.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Neal was complaining about his girlfriend, about how she's telling him what to do all the time. Little things, like what to wear. He said it's really annoying.

I didn't know he had a girlfriend. He lives in the hotel and he just comes downstairs when it's his shift. And that's the way it's been for years.

I wondered about her. What she must be like. And why he would be complaining.

And then Neal wanted me to move a little because I was in the doorway and he said, "Toot, toot."

I figure he'll break it off before I get a chance to meet her.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I think I'd like to be like Robin Williams. You know, smart and bouncy. He always has a smile on his face and millions of people like him. And he's not even that handsome.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

No email today. No email yesterday.

When I was a kid I heard that once they put a diamond ring in a Cracker Jack box.

A woman who worked for Cracker Jacks broke off her engagement and put her ring in one of the boxes. So the story goes.

I had some time on my hands so I googled some key words and didn't find anything on it.

I checked my other user accounts and there was no email there either.

I googled my name. There are a lot of Robert Wrights but none of them are me.

So, then I checked my spam folder.

Nope. The spam filter is working just fine.

Monday, November 7, 2005

I've been getting some hostile email about why I haven't posted lately and that's what I was thinking about when I was driving last night and I entered a parking lot with a big sign that said DANGER!

So I slammed on my brakes and backed up to read the sign.

And what the sign said was not to back up or else I'd have serious tire damage.

But I have something to write about.

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

I told Gus and Fontaine what happened at the bank and they said not to feel bad about it.

Then they started talking about how the first names of black people are often unusual. Michael Jackson's name is Michael, but what about LaToya? Is that a real name?

Fontaine said he never knows if they are using an African name or they're just making something up.

Gus said that Michael was a slave name. I didn't know that.

So why would they make something up?

Fontaine said, "To get back at us."

Gus said, "Because of people like Robert."

Monday, October 31, 2005

Halloween makes me happy.

Sometimes on Halloween day I see people driving to work all dressed up because they work at a place that allows that. I think that's just great.

I went to the bank to make a withdrawl and I asked the teller what she was because she had on a leopard skin hat that went up way-high and it had long tassels with spangles that threaded down through her hair and covered half her face.

She asked me to repeat the question. And then she said she was African-American.

And she was a real one.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

No doubt about it, I like Halloween.

I remember the black and orange construction paper and the smell of the school paste.

And monsters are easier to draw than angels.

Monday, October 24, 2005

When I was in Kindergarten, we were sitting in a circle and the teacher asked us what our favorite holiday was. Everybody said "Christmas." But when it got to my turn, I said, "Halloween."

Everybody looked at me. Even the Jews said "Christmas" when it was their turn.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

All my clothes went into the wash today except the clothes I was wearing.

But then I thought, as soon as the wash was done, I'd change into clean clothes and then I'd just have dirty laundry again.

So I took off my clothes and put them in the laundry. I wanted to have all clean clothes, no laundry, just once, if just for a day.

It would be a good feeling. Or so I thought.

But I felt dumb without clothes on. And it was cold.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Fontaine doesn't like Bush. He calls him The Shrub. And then he laughs.

And Gus goes on and on about how Bush is a war criminal who hates poor people.

I don't say anything. I mean, they'd just come back and tell me more stuff.

But nobody knew how bad Hurricane Katrina would be. And then, for the next one, Rita, didn't he do a better job? Nobody remembers Rita. But I do. I don't know why. His polls are down, but since when did we turn the president into a popularity contest? I mean, the election. High office. Do we want to make it like high school?

I didn't like high school.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Last night at the hotel I started to smell something funny and then it seemed like it could be smoke.

And then the phone rang. "Is the hotel on fire?" I honestly didn't know so I put him on hold because there was another call. The next caller had the same question. And then I got a flood of calls and nobody wanted to hear me say, "I don't know." So, I switched to "I don't think so," and that was worse.

I finally managed to call 911 and the dispatcher said there was a 3 alarm blaze but it was over a mile away.

On this one calm summer night, we were downwind.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

I got a few emails about Blane.

"I'm sorry to hear about your friend."

"He dies and then you don't mention him again. Why?
The next thing you write about is your dog."

I don't know.

I start thinking about it and all it does is make me feel bad.

But bad in strange ways. So, I don't know.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

There's this travel agency for teddy bears. I read about it today.

You mail in your teddy bear and they take it places and take pictures of it having a good time.

Like, they'll put a beret on it and take a picture of it in front of the Eiffle Tower.

Then they mail the teddy bear back to you with a photo album.

But I don't know. There's an unspoken sadness when you take separate vacations.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Gus, I'm happy to report, has a new girlfriend.

But she's young and he seems worried about keeping up with her.

I told him, "Gus, you're not old. You're just not as young as you used to be."

He went on to tell me all the music she likes. He giggled and said most of the groups he's never even heard of.

And he seems to really love her.

He gave her a copy of Beethoven's Piano Concerto in E-flat Major. And he said, "This is the music I hear when we are intimate."

After a couple of days he asked her if she had listened to it. And she said yes. But she didn't feel the same way.

It was long.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

I'm really sorry about this soldier's mom whose son died in Iraq.

But she's starting to get annoying.

Saturday, August 6, 2005

I heard sirens so I slowed down and pulled over. The guy behind me honked and went around me.

Kids on my block used to say they could tell if a siren was the police, a fire truck or an ambulance. I tried hard to learn the difference. I never could.

This time it was an ambulance.

It stopped at a house just four doors down from my place. It's a tiny house with a big front yard because it doesn't have a backyard. I don't know who lives there.

The paramedics got out, exchanged a few words, and then walked around to the back to take out the collapsible gurney.

I always thought that with a heart attack, every second counts. So maybe it wasn't heart attack. Or maybe there's another reason why they move so slow.

Friday, August 5, 2005

I'm thinking about calling up Fran and wishing her a happy birthday.

But I don't think I will.

Her friends see that mushroom cloud on the news and they go, "Oops. Better call Fran."

Thursday, August 4, 2005

The very horror of my situation lies in the fact that my fears are so vague.

My suspicions depend so entirely upon small points, which might seem trivial to another, that even my dog, to whom of all others I have a right to look for help and advice, looks upon all that I tell him about it as the nervous ramblings of an inferior master.

He does not say so, but I can read it from his averted eyes and the slow, tentative wag of his tail.

(I've been reading Sherlock Holmes to my dog.)

He, of all creatures, I would expect to see deeply into the manifold wickedness of the human heart and advise me how to walk amid the dangers which encompass me.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

There was somebody at the reception desk this morning and I went up to her and she said, "Your friend passed away."

I said, "Thank you."

There was no Blane there to grunt or gurgle over my choice of words. And I instantly missed him.

I just heard the sound of the air-conditioning for a moment, which I didn't know they had.

Friday, July 29, 2005

I went to see Blane this afternoon but there was somebody else in his room. She thought I was a doctor and started telling me stuff. I looked around the room while she was talking which was probably rude, but I just couldn't believe he wasn't there.

There was nobody at the reception desk and I couldn't find anybody. I sure wish he was staying in a better place.

It was getting late so I just left.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

I got an email from a woman who complained I haven't written much lately. So I wrote back to her and told her the reason is I just don't have anything to write about.

And she said that never stopped me before.

Friday, July 8, 2005

I never had a glue gun before and it seemed pretty neat so I started making something with styrofoam cups. I don't know what.

It was pretty neat until I burned myself.

I don't have any tatoos but now I have a distinguishing mark.

This might help if I'm a missing person and there's paperwork to fill out. And if somebody wants to find me.

Sunday, June 5, 2005

During the awards assembly in junior high, the principal told us to hold our applause until every name was read. But we didn't and that made him mad.

Boys and girls went up on stage and got their certificates for perfect attendance from a man who was clearly very angry.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

In sixth grade we learned about the Indians of the Andes Mountains.

Life in the Andes was harsh and the children had to work a lot. Their main job was to gather dung so their mothers could cook. We didn't know what that meant.

Our teacher explained that once you go up past the timberline, there are no trees. Dried llama dung served as fuel. We still didn't know what that meant.

Our teacher said to ask him about something else.

So we asked him what they did for fun. He said nothing. They couldn't play soccer because the ball would just roll down hill.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The tops to all my board game boxes are split at the corners so I have to watch it when I take them down from the shelf in the closet. All the games are missing pieces.

The Ungame has a picture of smiling people on the cover. They're smiling an awful lot and they all have long hair.

The Ungame is not competitive. Everybody wins. When you land on a square, you get a certain card and it might say something like, "Talk about beauty for a minute."

I don't think they make this game anymore.

Inside the box, along with a set of rules, which are called suggestions because there are no rules, there was a little candlestick and a lead pipe.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

I stayed up really late and I watched a channel I never saw before. The program was called "Unfulfilled Prophecy."

Last night it featured this guy who lived in Amsterdam a long time ago and he wrote down in his journal all these predictions and not one of them came true.

They showed the garret where he lived and a wood engraving which they figured was a self portrait.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Like Ty Cobb but without the talent. Hahahahahahahaha!

(Sorry. It was just something I read.)

Friday, May 13, 2005

I didn't have any bad luck today.

That's good, isn't it?

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I wonder what I can scrub my floor with so it doesn't smell like Pine-Sol.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I took the long way home. No, not even that. I took a way home where I was going some place else once.

It's a street where I once saw Annie walking down the sidewalk. She had on a scarf. It was probably winter.

I stopped and said hi. She smiled and said it was a small world. I remember that.

But today the car just went there on it's own.

I don't know where she is or what she's doing or why my car did that.

So I drove down another street. And then another. All these houses and all these streets. I didn't see anybody.

Sometimes it seems like a really big world.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

It's America's #1 Pine Cleaner yet it's not recommended for wood floors.

I wish the smell would go away.

It only smells like pine a little bit.

Monday, May 9, 2005

It says "no rinsing required."

Maybe I should have diluted it.

Sunday, May 8, 2005

There's a real bad smell in my bathroom. I took out the cat box so it's not that.

So I found a bottle of Pine-Sol and scrubbed the floor and bathtub and everything.

But now it smells like Pine-Sol.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

I took another walk.

There's a building that says The Fraternal Order of the Eagles. And they have a sign that says the hall is available for rent.

On the flagpole out front they have the American flag, and under that the California flag, and under that there's another flag but it's badly faded. I think it's the POW/MIA flag.

Friday, April 29, 2005

I took a walk today.

There's a little shopping center at the end of Bird Ave.

The sign says:

Prosthetics
Bakery

Today I saw it's two separate stores

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Fontaine and Gus and I were at the Mexico City Cafe and somebody at the next table's cell phone rang.

Fontaine said it was a gay ring tone.

Monday, April 18, 2005

I didn't feel like doing anything so I went fishing.

Sandy Wool Lake is close by so that's where I went. Also, I read in the paper that the DFG (Department of Fish and Game) had scheduled to stock it with trout last week.

Nobody was at the toll both so I put $5.00 in the machine and got my parking permit.

I drove down the hill and I saw that only two other fishermen were there.

Across from the lake, a park employee was using a gas powered weed wacker. And it was just a little bit cool for it to be a nice spring day.

I think the Kastmaster lure needs to catch direct sunlight but I used it anyway.

I didn't get any bites and my mind wandered.

I thought about how in junior high that we had the Good Conduct Dance. If you had only one or two behavior demerits, you could go. I didn't want to dance, but I didn't have any demerits, so I went. Nobody danced.

I looked out at the water and didn't see my bobber. My heart skipped a beat. But then I saw it.

I'm not sure what side of the bobber is supposed to go up, the white side or the red side. There's a lot about fishing I don't know about. My dad only took me once.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

I don't understand how this laundry piles up so fast. Has that much time really passed? Where was I?

This morning I sat on my bed and practiced the notes to Bonanza on my guitar. But it's spring. So I got in my car and drove toward the hills. Mom used to say it was a shame to waste sunshine.

I got lost and I found a park I'd never been to before. A sign said The Becket Picnic Area was subject to reservation. But nobody was there, or anywhere in the park.

I sat on a bench and looked at the place they made for playing horseshoes.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

I called Ron on the phone just to say hi but when he answered he asked me what I wanted and I said nothing. Our conversation didn't last very long.

So I went to see Blane.

Again, there was nobody behind the reception desk so I just walked in.

It was just Blane. He was looking at the ceiling.

I asked him how he was doing and then I said it was good to see him and that I hoped he was alright and to never hesitate to ask me for anything. It never hurts to ask so he could just ask away.

I wondered aloud how the food was and I mentioned it would be good for me to go on a diet. And I said that I hoped this year I'd remember to change the clocks when it was time to "spring forward" which I'd remember to do because it was spring.

I could see that Blane was fiddling with a little piece of paper he wanted me to see. So I took it from his hand. It read, "Go away."

Friday, March 25, 2005

Gus tried to give me $65 to get a massage at Roxanne's Gentleman's Massage. I sort of asked what's the catch, and he said just to tell him how it went.

I thought that was a lot of money, but that's all he'd say. And he looked pale. So I changed the subject and I told him stuff about my cat.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Annie came walking up toward the house and before I saw her, I saw her cobalt blue fingernails. They were like glass. Maybe they were like jewels from another planet. I don't know. And then I saw her.

She came to ask me to write a letter to the judge in Jim's behalf. I reminded her that I never met him.

She said he once had a job as a kick-box instructor and most of the students were under twelve. So I could say he was good with kids.

I said I'd do what I can. She said she hoped it would be soon. And she left.

I went back into the house, and, I don't know, I sort of wondered about things. I went to the cat box and sifted around with the scooper and I didn't find anything.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

I forgot why Jesus died for our sins. Other than the fact that he was nice. What I mean to say is, I'm not sure how that works, to die for somebody's sins. Unless they kill you. But that's because of somebody's sin, if their sin was homocide.

I asked my Christian friend Janice about this and she said I had sin and Jesus died for that sin. If you have sin, somebody's got to pay. And instead of you paying, Jesus paid for you. But why pay anybody? How about there just being a debt that's left hanging?

I wondered why God couldn't just forgive me for my sins without Jesus having to die. It seems to me that maybe with Jesus dying, my sin could have been washed away, but it isn't. It's just forgiven. But you know, my sin is original sin, the sin I was born with. Am I really to be blamed for something I was just born with?

If Jesus hadn't died for my sins, I wouldn't be forgiven by God. So how would that be? He'd be mean? Mean because of something I was born with?

I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry I was born with sin. It was not my idea. But I'm still sorry. And I'm sorry Jesus had to die. But did he really have to die?

I'd just like God to tell us he knows we have sin but he loves us anyway and since his son Jesus had nothing to do with it, it's only fair that he be treated at least as well as the rest of us.

I told Janice this and she said Jesus already died for my sins and it was too late.

Donald Trump married Slovenian model Melania Knauss
Saturday with all the glamour, glitz and gold that money
and star power can buy.

Knauss walked down the aisle to "Ave Maria" and guests
broke into applause when the real estate mogul-turned
reality TV star kissed the bride.

"There was a spontaneous combustion of love," said
boxing promoter Don King, one of the guests.